Springtime with Bryony

After losing Chloe (well, in the middle of the three-week nightmare of losing Chloe I guess), I resigned from my job of ten years. I pulled Bryony out of her school and spent March, April and May being her stay-at-home mum. Then Abigail joined us for June and July (summer break). Jake and I have said it many times - that we think Chloe's message was for us to re-evaluate life and maybe re-prioritise. So, I quit working, with no notice, and with no real plan other than healing from my heartbreak for the immediate future, and enjoying time with the beautiful daughters I'm so lucky to have.

Bryony's writing: starts with her name, ends with two lines of 'o', but a special bit in the middle, in red. She explained: "there's a B with a C, a J with a C, an A with a C, and a K with a C. That's to show Bryony loves Chloe, Jake loves Chloe, Abigail loves Chloe, and Kelly loves Chloe".

she HATES when I make her wear something she didn't choose

they still love to help me cook

Abigail Turns 8

Similarly to my birthday, I was still in a fog when end of March rolled around and Abigail turned eight. So she missed out on the big birthday theme/event I usually plan and had a small tea-party at home with just a few friends, her sister, her cousin and her Grandma.

her present was to go on a trail-ride: her idea, and she loved it

My beautiful oldest. I have so much to tell her when she's older about how much she helped me through my grief. She has no idea. I hope that we will be best friends for life, as I am with my own mother, and she will learn what she means to me.

My Birthday

My birthday was kind of rough. I was two weeks out from losing Chloe and woke up that morning so sad that every birthday going forward would be without her. I wrote a 20,000 word letter to her that tells her the whole story. One day I will share that with a few special people but, for now, it's for me.

Jake tried to make the day as normal as possible for everyone and took me to my favourite dinner with these beauties:

My sister Natalie sent me this pretty frame that hasn't left my bedside since

All through the Spring, I spent a lot of my time online - connecting with other loss mothers, who were my saving grace (and still are), and finding quotes to lift my spirits: